this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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