i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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