So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
