A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
