You really coming over, don't trick.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
