well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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