I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
