Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
