I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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