Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
