in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
