i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
