I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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