it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
