After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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