Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
