no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
