They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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