I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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