we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
