I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
