i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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