Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I accidentally burped into my bong.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
