she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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