your parents love me but you hate me
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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