I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
This toilet bowl is my home.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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