you win again, gameday.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
