You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
