i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
