Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
