capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
