idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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