I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
