It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i think my cat just said my name.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
