i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
