i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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