i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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