Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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