tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
