And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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