Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
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