I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
she looked like the before picture.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
