If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
