Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
