Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
