I molested 6 butterflies tonight
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
