woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
