I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
