Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
