I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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